"Karol Helms F#cks the pole!" That was the sentence that came out of a very drunken Thursday night conversation with a non pole dancer. When the man who had once been my radio cohort and cohost told me to stop a video of myself THAT'S what he said to me. "Karol Helms F@cks the pole!" I was silent for a moment.
"She F@cks the pole, she f@cks the audience, she f@cks the music! That's what makes her so F@cking great!"
Evan Branch. Comedian, friend, watcher and supporter of my pole dancing - said the most brilliant thing I have heard in a long time about pole dancing.
I asked Evan to host the first ever Metro Detroit Pole Dance Showcase (which Karol very graciously performed in) because of his ability to see the sexual and funny side of pole dancing. I mean were talking about a guy who thinks that every move that involves a crotch shot is the "lunchbox." What I didn't realize was that he paid attention to every dancer and everything about each dancer.
So in a drunken conversation about yet again another one of MY videos - he asked me to pause the video and blurted out "Karol Helms f@cks the pole!" He then explained to me something I had never seen before and gave me the missing piece I've been looking for. He said in all sincerity "In July, you attacked the pole and made it your bitch, it was so aggressive it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. Now, your f@cking the pole too."
I thought drunkenly to myself - I'm not f@cking anything. I've never let myself go the way someone like Karol or Alethea has. I've never really f@cked the audience - never looked at them and as Kira Lamb would say made them drink my kool-aid.
Back in August of 2010 I had the pleasure of meeting and coincidently scissoring with Michelle Mynx, one sexy half of Gravity Plays Favorites and she taught me how to "eye f@ck." Each and everytime she did it to me I had these goosebumps going up my spine, I am not going to lie, I was a little turned on - and I'm not attracted to women in that way. She also f@cks the audience, f@cks the pole and f@cks the music.
So where I am leading you with all the pole f@cking? Personally, I've spent so much of time AFRAID of the fricken pole, scared of falling off of it, in distrust of my body that I've never been able to f@ck it. I see this all the time - some of us, we're trying to bust our asses to get new moves to show the pole whose boss instead of hustling it and making it give us what we want. The pole will provide our every fantasy and desire but we have to let it. We have to be open to it, we have be gentle and make IT want US. Yes, I know I'm talking about an inanimate object that has no thoughts or feelings...but still the pole to many dancers embodies challenge. It doesn't always have to be a challenge. When do we as dancers gain the confidence to f@ck that pole so good, it won't want anyone else on it? All of the greats, they don't have to continually prove the pole is their bitch...maybe that's why they're great - they've already made the apparatus their bitch. Their body is their bitch, the crowd is their bitch - it's all assumed. There is so much POWER in controlling what you expose to your pole or to your audience. You don't have to PROVE anything when you're dancing or performing - just show them who YOU are. What are YOU feeling? It's all about YOU and YOUR GRATIFICATION!
Tonight, I f@cked the pole. I don't even know what I did but I know it felt good. I was in control. I knew the pole was my bitch, it didn't have a choice. I finally felt that POWER that trained dancers that I admire and girl crush on have confessed that they feel when the DANCE. I didn't doubt myself. I wasn't afraid of a cold piece of steel. I was in control.
Now, I am realistic enough to know this feeling can only last so long in the ebb and flow of self discovery and self esteem, but for now...f@ck the pole. Make love to it. Make IT desire YOU. TRUST yourself and your body. Do what feels GOOD to your body and your pole. It doesn't matter if you can't do a friggin iron X or some stupid advanced thing...f@ck it like it's johnny Depp and you'll never have the chance to do it again. It feels good.